Day 13: The Realization

 

This picture will continue to be the header of my blog until I'm able to establish some better habits. I originally wrote "good habits" but I'm trying to stay away from negativity - so things are not "bad" vs "good". How about good vs better for positivity !

It was 28 degrees with a winter storm warning when I got up this morning. That came out of nowhere ! There is also snow in the forecast Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So much for the early Spring that the groundhog predicted !

Breakfast was french toast (120 calories) with the last bit of sugar free syrup. I'll open a new bottle tomorrow. Around noon I had my yogurt (80 calories), then my salad and later a pepperoni pizza melt (220 calories). I never got around to my afternoon snack and I had my morning protein shake (120 calories) during my workout. Dinner was roasted carrots and roasted turkey medallions (260 calories). Evening snack was a lemon zest cake (140 calories) with whipped cream. I also had a mint ice cream sandwich (130 calories) as I missed my afternoon snack and was only at 940 calories for the day.

I was awake before 6:30 today and not long after I woke up I heard the garbage truck. The very LOUD garbage truck ! They typically collect trash on the main drag first but they don't usually need to run the compacter that early. I knew I wouldn't go back to sleep so I just got up. I'm sure Abby was happy to have an early breakfast, but that meant she'd be ahead of schedule all day, so I had to be mindful of that and not get impatient with her. I got dressed before I came downstairs today too ! I also threw in a pan of carrots to roast. My gift cards for Nutrisystem were in my email bright and early, so this day started out really good ! I thought about taking a shower but I knew if I did that, I wouldn't want to take one tonight and I want to get back on the evening routine. 

I named this blog The Realization because I took photos of myself yesterday. I am really sad at the sight I saw. I finally got a hard look at the 100 pounds I put on and it wasn't a pretty sight. Not exactly the most flattering leggings and the sports bra provides zero support .. lol !

If this doesn't motivate me to keep going, I don't know what will. I'm so disgusted with the way I look. I've done really well with staying away from the extras I have in the house. I have a plastic container of Gardetto's snack mix that I need to start eating or toss, and I'm leaning toward tossing it. I still have 12 packages of Pop Tarts and I put them in a ziploc bag out of sight. I also have some Ghirardelli chocolates, but those will keep as they're individually wrapped. I bought bags of pretzels and nuts last week when I grocery shopped. The intention there was to put a little baggie of them in my lunch when I started going back to the office. We still don't know if and when that will happen. I'm really hoping they decide the logistics of getting us back into an office are too costly and they let us continue working from home.

It was kind of amazing to get so much done before work. Cats all fed, trash out, carrots were done roasting and I was dressed ! The day went downhill after that .. lol ! When lunch time rolled around I had been super busy at work and had no time to put my shoes on or eat anything other than my waffles. I hadn't made my protein shake either. My new tablet had arrived so I put that on to charge and started the setup process. I chose not to import everything from my phone or other tablet, so it's a manual process. I did the basics: signed into my Google account, signed into my Samsung account and updated the software. I don't want to junk it up with a bunch of useless apps. I also put the roasted carrots in the fridge, retrieved the garbage bin from the street and put my reusable grocery bags back in the trunk of the car. Then I sat down to enjoy my yogurt.

I've made huge strides in getting what I eat under control and it's time to get my exercise program under control. I think part of my problem is I'm still thinking about where I was 2 years ago instead of focusing on where I am today. It took me a long time to build my endurance on the treadmill and it's going to take just as long to get it back. I just have to keep trying and stop finding excuses to give up. I have to work hard if I want that back. At 12:51 pm today I resolved to get on the treadmill after work. There is NO reason this can't happen. Not exercising is just pure laziness at this point. Did I do it? Yes - I did!!!! Not only did I get on treadmill, but I did a workout that was 41m26s! With 6m WU/CD that means I spent 47m26s straight on the treadmill. That's the longest I've done in several years, so I'm pleased. I had put a 33m workout on my schedule but then I told myself I could do 8 more minutes! I'm glad I pushed myself. I walked at 2.2 mph until 30 minutes to go and then did 5 minute intervals. Rest speed was 2.2 mph and the max interval speed was 2.6 mph. I did this as a ladder again. I sweated quite a bit so I was working hard!

I also resolved to be in the shower by 8 pm. Skincare after and teeth at bedtime ! I wore those plaid leggings again today but they are headed for the wash now. OMG I look so bad in them! I really can't wait to get back in to all my cute legging sets. Boxing up the plus sizes will also be a pleasure, but I plan to keep them for a while this time around. If I get fat again I'll be dragging them out! I saw the cutest summer dress on ShopDisney and was tempted to buy it in the largest size, which is XL. I didn't do it because I probably won't be in an XL this summer and hopefully by next summer an XL would be too big. I'll buy some new things when I get these 100 pounds off!

I put my new tablet aside and will play with that this weekend. I also need to put my existing tablet into it's new case. Soaking my feet is also on the list. Add exercise, grocery shopping and some housework and you have a full weekend!

I managed to get myself in the shower before 8 and completed skincare right after. It might seem odd to document every little thing I do each day, but I'm prone to kicking myself for doing nothing. When you look at all the little things you do, it's easier to see just how much you actually accomplished. One thing I've been neglecting lately is making my bed. I need to start doing that again. It only take a couple minutes, so there is no excuse for not doing it.

 I checked my bank account tonight and my Federal refund was available and my State refund came in, so I moved that money to my savings. It's very surreal to have $40k in my savings! I do plan to spend some of that to have the porch redone, provided my job remains stable. I don't plan to spend a fortune on it. New windows are the main priority. I'd also like a new front door. I do enjoy the front porch but it's not very weather tight and the windows are in awful condition. Having it redone will cut down on some of the cold drafts I get across the front of the house. I'd probably be able to use it more because it would be warmer and a space heater would easily take the chill off it I wanted to be out there. Spring dreams !

On that note, I'm heading upstairs to brush my teeth and relax in bed!