Day 22: The Start of Week 4 !

 

This picture will continue to be the header of my blog until I'm able to establish some better habits. I originally wrote "good habits" but I'm trying to stay away from negativity - so things are not "bad" vs "good". How about good vs better for positivity ! I think this daily reminder is helping as I've been able to start getting things done!

It was a balmy 34 degrees when I got up today and the forecast high was 41. The warmer temp was bringing rain but will be followed by a low of 11 tomorrow night and temps in the teens for Saturday. Looks like after that we'll be enjoying 40's and 50's during the day for the week ahead. I will take it!

Breakfast was 180 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup. I've finished one package of the Wegman's waffles. Late morning I had an 80 calorie yogurt. I didn't have a morning snack. Lunch was the usual 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with a chef salad. Dinner was a 190 calorie artichoke and spinach stuffed chicken breast with roasted carrots. I haven't had this entree in a while, so it was a nice change. Helps that the air fryer is clean! Evening snack was a 140 calorie lemon zest cake with whipped cream. 

I've been in a bit of a rut this week and I'm not sure how to get myself out of it. I can't seem to find and maintain consistency when it comes to exercise and even taking a shower. I sit on this couch day in and day out getting nothing done. I keep hoping that warmer temps and more sunshine will help, but the reality is I just need to dig a little deeper and use self discipline to keep myself on track. I can blame the weather, the frozen pipes, the sore joints, not having my shoes on, not having my shake made .. etc .. but in the end 99.9% of the time that is just excuses. Tackling what I eat seems like it was the easy part, and that is a surprise. I didn't think I'd be able to give up all that junk food quite so easily. I think part of me is still saying "why bother" because my life didn't change dramatically when I lost the weight. If I'm being honest, I was looking for validation from men and that didn't come. So this time around I have to find a reason to do this for me, and only me. I still remember how good I felt when I looked in the mirror. I have to keep remembering that and not look beyond that. DO THIS FOR YOU! DO THIS TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. In reality, I do not want to be entangled with another man. Alex was enough and I'm content with my life as it is. Yes, I could use some companionship but a man would expect sex and I don't want to go down that road.

Work remains slow but I grabbed 3 new items off the worklist first thing this morning, so that will keep me busy for another day.

So today I was up 10 minutes before the alarm since I was awake and Abby let me know she was ready for breakfast. After the indoor and outdoor cats were fed I had my waffles and coffee, then I got my ass dressed and put my shoes on! I also made the bed. Last night I cut up a head of lettuce for salad. All I needed to do before noon was make my shake. Well, I didn't do that. Abby was very restless today and didn't want to eat her canned food. She did eat about half a jar of baby food but she was crying and drinking water all morning. I decided to cook some chicken for her at noon, instead of working out. She did eat some of the chicken, so I was happy about that. Some days she chows down the canned food and then there are days like this. She is nearly 16 years old and I'm not sure how much longer she will be here. One of these days it's going to be just me and Minnie and that will be sad. I've had 2 or more cats since 1998. Since I didn't exercise at lunch, the plan was to try and get on the treadmill after work, but I just couldn't do it. Abby ate some canned food but later in the evening I tried chicken again and she wouldn't eat. I also tried more canned food and she wouldn't eat. She is skin and bones and I'm not going to take any heroic measures to extend her life. I think that would be cruel, so I will just take this day by day. She is drinking, so that is something. I tried to sit with her and pet her but she moved away from me, so I let her be. She wouldn't even have some whipped cream and she usually begs me for that.

I didn't weigh myself today. I'll try to get that done tomorrow. I may not have exercised today but I got a shower in. I also did skincare and plan to brush my teeth when I got to bed. I keep telling myself I'm doing good with what I eat and the exercise will come. I just don't know when. The uncertainty with my job is bothering me too.