Day 33: Begin Again

 

This picture will continue to be the header of my blog until I'm able to establish some better habits. I originally wrote "good habits" but I'm trying to stay away from negativity - so things are not "bad" vs "good". How about good vs better for positivity ! I think this daily reminder is helping as I've been able to start getting things done!

Today is Day 33 and I'm beginning yet again. At some point I have to figure out how to not let life's ups and downs derail my diet and exercise goals. I am still reaching for excuses at every turn and I'm still "justifying" my behavior. Today I've taken steps to try and turn things around yet again.

I started by removing the bag of candy from the bedroom. No more eating in bed because I can't control it. I also got dressed before work and had my shake made and my shoes on before 10:30 am. As a result, I was able to get my fat ass on the treadmill during my lunch hour. I put in 20m49s at 2.5 mph and let me tell you, that was a struggle at first! After only 30 seconds I really wanted to stop but I knew that it would get easier, and it did. 

Breakfast today was 120 calorie french toast. Over the weekend I discovered that you're supposed to add a Power Fuel when you have this breakfast item! I had no idea because I never read the packaging. I got an 80 calorie yogurt out but never ate it. I put in back in the fridge to have later if I needed a pick me up. Lunch was the usual 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt and a chef salad. I'm trying to use less of the "add ins" such as olives and feta cheese, because of the associated calories. After lunch I wanted something sweet so I had that 80 calorie yogurt with some whipped cream. Afternoon snack was 80 calorie cottage cheese and 90 calorie Alyssa's cookies. Dinner was a 240 calorie chicken bacon ranch quesadilla with low fat sour cream and some salsa. I also had green beans. The quesadilla is good but I'm going to buy some peppers and onions next time I grocery shop. I think they would add a lot to it. Evening snack was a 140 calorie lemon zest cake with (too much) whipped cream.

Work was slow today but I grabbed 2 new items off the worklist first thing. Problem with that is I was done with them before lunch. I spent some time on billing adjustments, something I haven't done in a while but wanted to get back into. I also spent some time cleaning up my training schedule. I dumped all the stuff that is already completed and started a new track for 2024. I'm going to spend some time learning about project management unless I can find something more interesting to meet the requirements. The bad thing about being management is they expect you to be constantly "developing" yourself. Well, after nearly 39 years I don't really see a need to develop myself. I have no desire to move to a new role or move up the ladder, so I basically go through the motions every year.

I fed Minnie first thing this morning and she turned her nose up at the food. However, by noon she was clearly ready to eat. Even so, she didn't eat much. Canned food has never been her thing so it looks like the strays will continue to get extra portions of canned food. Going forward I'm not going to rush to feed Minnie in the morning. I will let her tell me when she is hungry and see how that works. She has 2 different varieties of dry food to choose from, so she will not go hungry. I didn't use a picture of Abby in today's blog as I'm ready to let her go. She will live forever in my heart and I will never forget her, but I can't torture myself with pictures of her in better times. I'm going to remember her sweet soul no matter what.

I worked from the couch today as my desk is a mess again. I have clothes and bedding I need to stash in the closet and I didn't have the ambition yesterday. I will get that done before the week is out. I need to move some of the stuff in the office closet to my spare room upstairs. I have a lot of exercise gear that I can't wear right now, so I'm going to move it temporarily until I can wear it again.

Today was a good day. I showered last night and did skin care. I got dressed before work today. I got my shake made and my shoes on early. I exercised during lunch. I removed temptation from my bedroom. At 1:04 I was hopeful I would find the motivation to get on the treadmill again after work. I'm working on a series that has several 16 minute workouts and that's an easy ask for 5 pm. Well, that didn't happen. Going forward I'm committing to once a day and leaving it at that. My ideal plan was to shower at 7 pm because I know if I sit too long after dinner I will be too tired and not do it.

Work was slow and I was bored so by 4:20 I was getting sleepy. I knew that getting on the treadmill at 5 pm was going to be a struggle! I got my afternoon snack together and warmed up a cup of coffee I had left from this morning. I figured that would perk me up! I The combination of getting up and moving around, eating and having some coffee did the trick, but it didn't last long. By 5 I was done for the day. I did gather all the trash and put that out tonight, instead of leaving it for the morning. I don't have a lot of recyclables so I'll leave those until next week.

Last night Minnie let me know about 8:30 that she was hungry. I hadn't bothered to put out canned food because she wasn't eating it. She didn't eat much last night or today so I didn't bother rushing to feed her at 5, like I used to. She will let me know when she is hungry. Just as I typed that she came to visit me .. it was 4:49 pm and most days I'd have given them dinner by now. I decided to wait a bit. I ended up feeding her shortly after 6. It seems like she didn't eat much but I have to remember I'm giving her the whole can now, instead of half. I have a ton of canned food but once it's gone I'm going to see if I can find a "single serve" food that she likes. There are not a lot of options at Walmart so I may need to visit a pet store and pick up a few to try. She may also still be adjusting to being the only cat. Even though she and Abby didn't "hang out" I'm sure Minnie has noticed she is gone. I wonder if that confuses her? Sad that I can't have a conversation with her to explain. I'm trying hard not to say Abby's name out loud around her, to avoid confusing her. Minnie always used to eat a few bites and then abandon her bowl because she knew Abby was coming for it .. even though they both had the same food. Old habits die hard and I think both of us are still trying to adjust. I looked around the house today and marveled that it is staying clean, but I'd take all that mess and more back just to have Abby here again. Minnie has gone back to snoozing on her favorite chair today. I guess it's more comfy than the back of the couch.

I haven't weighed myself lately but I won't be surprised if I haven't lost any weight. I went off the deep end a bit this past weekend but I'm back on track today. I haven't cheated at all! Yes, I had sour cream on my quesadilla and whipped cream on my yogurt and evening snack, but those are acceptable "extras" for Nutrisystem. I am determined to go to bed without candy, so we'll see how that goes. Funny that my Saturday night stop at Walmart was for ice cream but I haven't touched it yet. Sometimes just having stuff in the house is all the comfort I need. I did demolish the entire 10 pack of cookies and a fair amount of fun size candy, so I guess that was enough sugar for a bit!

At 8 pm I finally pushed myself off the couch to take a shower and do skincare. Once that was done I had my evening snack and closed the kitchen for the day!

The goal for tomorrow is to repeat today!