Day 8: The Start of Week 2

 

I've been up and down but I'm not giving up. I might have been close to rock bottom but I held on tight and started the climb out. I can't look back and I can't change the past, but I have full control of the future when it comes to my weight.

It's Tuesday and it's Day 8 of this last-ditch effort to get the weight back off. It was 40 degrees when I got up this morning. It was 50 by noon and 58 by 5! I actually turned the heat off in the downstairs as it was too warm in the house. It's back on now 

Today is the start of week 2. The scale did not move overnight, so the final result of Week 1 is a loss of 6 pounds. Sure, I wish I'd have lost more but I didn't really work as hard as I could have. I haven't been exercising the way I should and that is key to my success.

Breakfast was 150 calorie pancakes with sugar free syrup. Late morning I had an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake. Lunch was the usual 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with a chef salad. Afternoon snack was 80 calorie cottage cheese & 90 calorie Alyssa's cookies. Dinner was green beans and a 260 calorie chicken enchilada. I added a sprinkle of shredded cheese and a little bit of low fat sour cream. I'm trying to use these open containers up. Evening snack was a 140 calorie lemon zest cake with whipped cream. 

I managed to get myself on the treadmill at noon today! I got myself dressed, put the trash out, put on my treadmill shoes and the shake I made yesterday was ready to go by noon. The trash men came just before noon so I retrieved my bin and got on the treadmill for workout 1 in the Road to Recovery series. It was only 10m50s at a pace of 2.2 mph (plus 6 minutes of warm up/cool down) but this is where I am right now. I have finally, finally, finally admitted this is where I am and instead of avoiding the treadmill I need to do what I can. It's 12:41 pm as I write this and I've made my salad and gobbled down my pizza melt. My goal right now is to do workout 2 in this series after work. My hips are feeling better but I still get some twinges of pain in my left knee, but I keep going. Losing the weight and continuing to move can only help! 

Work has been busier lately only because I've started doing some additional work. It's something I used to do but had to stop when our team took on a massive amount of work from another team. We cleared that huge backlog and new incoming work has slowed quite a bit, so I've been able to pick up this other role again. I work with our most sensitive customers, so I don't mention specifics of my job in my blogs because of privacy concerns. I'm likely the only one that actually reads it, but the content could be accessed by others.

Before my workout today I took the 40 pound bear upstairs and brought the 50 pound bear downstairs. I will earn him back when I hit 254 pounds. I have a ways to go if I want to truly own the 150 pound and the goal bears. I got there once and I can get there again!

I did manage to get on the treadmill after work! It might have been 5:30 but I did it. It was 11m43s at the same 2.2 mph pace. I think choosing these short workouts are just what I need to get myself moving again. Part of the problem is I don't want to spend most of my lunch hour on the treadmill. I also don't want to spend a lot of time after work. This is a great starting point and a good compromise to help me build good habits. I know the speed and endurance will come, but it's going to take time. I have to remember I'm 5 years older too. It was so stupid to let myself gain all this weight and I'm paying the price every day.

I took a shower shortly after 7 and washed my hair. That always perks me up. I'm still trying to decide if I want to cut my hair short. I definitely want to go shoulder length, so that might be a good starting point. I'm afraid if I go too short it will expose how thin my hair has gotten. I may just go on Saturday and take a leap!

Minnie and I are pretty well settled into our new life as a twosome. She doesn't come visit me in bed every night now and I'm sure that is because she has access to me all day long. Several times a day she will demand to sit in my lap and I always set aside my work or whatever I'm doing for that. She is 15 this year and who knows how many more years I will have with her. I'm still struggling with trying to figure out when to feed her. Sometimes she eats the canned food and sometimes she doesn't. I have noticed she will sometimes come back to the food on her own schedule, and most of what she doesn't eat goes to the strays, so it's not going to waste. I've also noticed she gets the food on the carpet too! I always blamed that on Abby (not that I scolder her about it) and had no idea Minnie was probably responsible for some of it! It was bittersweet returning the 9 jars of baby food I had left from Abby. I don't miss the chaos of trying to get her to eat enough, but I miss her sweet self. I can still see her pretty green eyes and hear her little chirps. Hopefully she has found Lucky over the Rainbow Bridge and is at peace.

Today was a good start to week 2! I ate everything I was supposed to, exercised twice and got a shower in. I'll do skincare and brush my teeth when I head upstairs for bed. 

I joined a weight loss motivation group on Facebook but I'm not finding any motivation there. I really can't stand people who brag and complain and that is all I see there, so I left the group. I have to admit that seeing other people's success was also not motivating. It just made me more depressed about my current situation. The bottom line is I have to motivate myself and I have to want to do this for myself. I know I can do it, I just need to push myself harder. I think the nicer weather will do a lot to elevate my mood and make the process a tiny bit easier. 

It's nearly 9 pm so I'm going to head for bed.