39 Won't Turn Into 40

 

I've been up and down but I'm not giving up. I might have been close to rock bottom but I held on tight and started the climb out. I can't look back and I can't change the past, but I have full control of the future when it comes to my weight.

Today I received word that I'm being laid off as of 5-24. The other 3 folks on my team that are located in Syracuse also got the boot. We figured it was coming, but no one expected it to happen this soon. My boss actually sent me the notification letter via email before calling me, which was a goof on her part and a shock to me. She felt really bad about it, but in the end it didn't matter who delivered the bad news. 

It was a shock but I'm actually glad to not have the fear of layoff hanging over my head anymore. It helps that I am financially secure. I get 6 months severance pay and medical until the end of the year. I also have a pension benefit and a healthy 401k. I'm glad I also have over $50k in my savings account. I was not this secure financially back in 2019 when the Syracuse office closed, so I'm glad I worked hard to pay off my credit card debt. Now I need to refocus on losing the weight! I am so mad to again find myself this fat and now having to interview for jobs! I am such an idiot!

I really only need to work 3 more years. At 65 I'll be eligible for Medicare. It's sad that these days it is all about the medical benefits ! If I have trouble finding a job I can probably go right up the street and work at McDonald's. There's a couple of banks in town, along with a social services office, so I might look for openings there too. I could walk to work!

They tore down the apartment building across the street today. Even though it was chilly I parked myself on the porch to work, so I  could watch. Unfortunately they worked at it from the rear, so I couldn't see much until they started working on the front wall just before 4 pm. Shortly after 5 it was nothing but a pile of rubble. I don't know if they'll work the weekend, but they still have to haul that all away.

I let my family know about the layoff and got nothing but support from everyone. I am blessed with a good family and thanks to my mom, I don't have to worry about finances for a bit. I had been thinking about going to the casino this weekend, but that is out of the question now. Throwing away money there is just plain stupid. Kim suggested I take the summer off, but it will probably be hard to find a new job so I need to start looking now. It's very overwhelming especially as I have no clue how to handle my 401k and pension money. 

I sit here and say I'll be ok, and I probably will, but I'm very overwhelmed and sad. I really, really wanted this job to last a couple more years. Just 2 more years would have been fine, because I could have toughed it out until I was 65 and eligible for Medicare. I don't think I can "tough it out" for 3 years. I need to get a job with medical benefits and that is the bottom line.