Acceptance ... for the hundredth time

 

05-17-24

I've been going through the motions since the bottom fell out of my career. I'm not taking on any new work and I'm not taking the next step on any of the 29 items left on my worklist. Why would I ? The company has indicated I'm not needed, so there is no point in going the extra mile. I log in, see if anything can be closed and then I watch YouTube or play games on my tablet (or both!) until it's time to log out for the day. I also check LinkedIn and today found a new listing that I would be perfect for, so I need to finish up my revised resume and submit some applications.

On a positive note, before all this happened my brother asked me to go to a ballgame. That's happening today after work, so I'm looking forward to getting out of the house and having some fun. I took a shower and washed my hair during my lunch hour and I plan to be ready to run out at the door at 5 pm.

05-18-24

Had a great time at the ball game last night and our home team won. I enjoyed a beer, a hot dog, a poutine and an ice cream.  Weather was good though we did have a couple sprinkles of rain. The fireworks after the game were amazing too.  I got home shortly after 10:30 pm. It was a really fun night and it was good to be able to just enjoy myself and not dwell on losing my job.

Today I spent the day on the couch watching YouTube videos. I don't really "need" anything from the grocery store but I will probably go tomorrow anyways.

05-19-24

I alternate between calm and fear these days. I know I can survive financially for a year or more, but medical insurance hangs over my head. The retiree medical would be nearly $900 a month, so that is out of the question. If I don't have a job with medical coverage by November 30th I'll have to shop on the ACA marketplace .. if that is cheaper !

I waited too long on a the perfect job and it's no longer posted. I'll have to keep an eye out for new opportunities and apply quickly. I did apply for 2 jobs today.

05-20-24

In positive news, the "perfect job" might have disappeared from LinkedIn, but it was still open on the company website ! I made sure to apply yesterday. I applied to a couple more jobs today. I think I have about 5 out there. I need to get organized and make note of what I've applied for. I also need to organize my cover letters and resumes.

I am still alternating between hope and despair. I'm applying for jobs even though I just want to bury my head in the sand and hope it all goes away. I keep seeing stories about people applying for 1000 jobs and not even getting an interview. Of course, they don't give details about their qualifications or what type of roles they are pursuing, so it's hard to know if the job market is really that tough. I'm applying for jobs I think I can do and thought I'm not low-balling my desire salary, I am willing to take a pay cut since I can start collecting my retirement at any time.

05-21-24

I keep thinking I will feel "relieved" once Friday has come and gone, but I'm not sure. It's hard to accept being laid off after 39 years of hard work. I don't think it will get better unless I am able to find a new job ... and that is not going to be easy. Yes, I have severance pay and I have medical insurance until 11-30 .. but then what ? I can't get Medicare until I'm 65, so I have to make it through the next 3 years. I've applied to 7 or so jobs and haven't heard from any of them yet. I will continue searching and applying and see what happens. 

5-22-24

I spent some time this morning documenting all of my professional skills, in order to beef up my resume. I'm happier with the finished product but I need to find a good template to make it more visually appealing. I also applied for a couple more jobs. I'm just going to apply to anything that appeals to me and claims to be remote. I need to limit how much time I spend on LinkedIn because it's very demoralizing. I have yet to hear from any of the companies I applied to, but many of the job postings are still open and they probably wait and then sift through what they get. I'm sure those who are younger and with impressive educations will be considered first. That's just a fact of life.

We had a fast and furious thunderstorm shortly after 5 pm and it blew out one of the windows on the front porch. This weekend I'm going to go to Lowe's and get a sheet of plexiglass. I have a temporary patch in place and I'll have plenty of time to work on fixing it !

Monday I'm going to start a new routine that includes cleaning the house, exercising and self care every day. I really need to get this weight back off, so I won't be buying pizza, candy bars, ice cream or Pop Tarts anymore. I'll save money and thousands of calories ! I want to get the house in shape just in case I do happen to get a new job. I won't have as much time to goof off if I'm learning new things and possibly taking on a busier role.

Tomorrow afternoon is my "exit interview" with my boss. I don't plan on really saying much of anything. She and I can chat on a personal level via our personal phones once the dust settles. I asked what her off payroll date was and she doesn't have one yet. They're continuing to use her .. making her train our replacements, whoever they may be. She thinks maybe 2 months. I wish I had two months. I'd have had time to go and have all my dental work done and get my healthcare up to date. I do have 6 months of medical insurance so there is no excuse there for me. I can keep my dental if I pay the full premium, but I'll have to see what that is. It might be worth keeping for a couple months just to get all my work done, if I don't find a new job soon.

Today I deleted most of the remaining files and emails from my computer. I'm sure anything I deleted can be recovered, but I can't see why they'd need to. It was all my personal stuff. None of it was malicious destruction of records. It was just my way of erasing my footprint in the business.

05-23-24

It's Thursday and the end is near. I will be sad to log off for the last time tomorrow, but I'll be glad I don't have to sit here logged in to "work" all day long. The past 2 weeks has been like a long, drawn out funeral and it's been excruciatingly painful. To be tossed aside like trash after 39 years of service just because I am not co-located with the team I support. In reality, maybe 10% of my job involved people located in the US! 

I plan to spend next week settling into a healthy routine and then I'll address my 401k and pension. I also need to sign up for unemployment. I might as well collect what I'm entitled to until I get a new job. I've had 2 emails about jobs I applied for. One asked for additional info (first question was do you have a bachelor's degree, so I probably won't even be considered) and the other was a "thanks but no thanks" email.