Another Day 55: Life Goes On

 

Holidays and weekends don't count, so today marks 38 days unemployed. It's hard to believe it's been 8 weeks since my last day with AT&T. Considering I'm getting paid, am I really unemployed ? I guess so. It's going to continue to be a scary place until I have a job and unless the Accenture job comes through, I don't know when that's going to happen. For now, I consider this time off to be an extended vacation. I haven't been unemployed since 1985, so this has been a difficult adjustment.

I woke up this morning feeling so proud of myself. I have a very long history of procrastinating and being lazy when it comes to tackling anything that seems mildly challenging. Replacing the window glass seemed like a huge complicated task, yet in the end it was quite simple. The best thing about it is the fact that plexiglass is so much lighter, so the windows are easier to open and close. I just have so little confidence in my abilities and I let fear run my life too often. I cannot even count the number of times I doubted myself and once the task was complete I marveled at how "easy" it was ! You would think after so many years of this I would get over it, but I attribute it to the trauma I endured from 1997 through 2014. I often wonder what my life would look like if Alex had not come along.

Around 10 am I was feeling chilly and decided to go take a shower, then remembered I had misplaced my comb. It is necessary for my hair after a shower so I needed to hunt it down. I moved the end table next to the couch and decided I might as well vacuum that area while I had it pulled out. I also stripped the sheet off the couch and lo and behold .. there was my comb between the cushions ! I put the new sheet on and then decided I might as well continue vacuuming. I vacuumed the entire downstairs and also the front porch. Last item was sweeping the patio to ensure no fleas or flea eggs are hanging around outside the back door. Once all that was done I was sweaty so I sat down in front of the fan with a yogurt and started this blog post. By 11 I had cooled off and the fan was no longer necessary.

I'm starting to realize that retirement is a pretty nice thing, though I'd rather be working. My plan had been to work another 5-8 years and that is still my goal. Today I applied for a job similar to the Accenture job. It's a small firm so the pay is likely going to be an issue, but we'll see if they even give me an interview.